God Winks

I have a friend who shared the idea of God Winks.  God Winks are those little moments that happen just for you.  I little lesson or reminder that you need in the here and now.  The photo above is a God Wink I found long ago on my driveway on a day that was so horrible I considered running away or quitting my "job" or screaming and crying at the same time until I felt better...anything but being a mom for another second, and then I saw this smiling face on my driveway.  A reminder to just keep smiling, tomorrow is another day.

This week my God Wink seemed to be more of a slam.  I think I needed to have a lesson driven home, so it was brought about not as a wink, but in the form of several mini-lessons which resulted in one big slam.  I needed to learn the lesson that I have to "let go and let God" (the same friend uses this phrase a lot too).  My kids are getting the scary age where they are pulling away.  They use to seek advice on how to handle  situations in their life; but, now they are keeping these from me.  They want to do things that I don't understand and therefore have no idea how to keep them safe.  I am in that scary period where I have to trust my kids because I am no longer their entire world.

I am a controlling person, which is to say that I don't like feeling out of control.  Not that having kids lends itself well to feeling in control, really ever.  But at least when they were babies, toddlers and preschoolers, I could say something and they listened.  And when they didn't, I could give them a consequence that made them think twice the next time the same situation arose.  My goal was to teach them to be able to think through their behavior and act appropriately according to my values.  Apparently, I have done such a great job of teaching them to think for themselves that they are actually doing just that.  And that is scary because what if they start to think something different than me?

I sort of jest myself here because these are the lessons that were driven home to me this week.  My natural reaction is to want to know everything and control everything in their life...to be a helicopter parent...and ensure they act the way I want them to act.  I really want them to value what I value.  But, I know that will just lead to years of therapy and misery for all of us.  And this week that was driven home by both examples of extreme helicopter parenting and examples of the parenting I aspire to achieve.  It was driven home that I need to trust that all those conversations we had in the car, at the grocery store, and around the dinner table.  I have to trust those conversation led to my values sticking in their minds somewhere and taking root.  I have to step back and trust they are going to be just fine, or "let go and let God."  It is hard.  It is harder than I realized it was going to be.

I am grateful for the God Slam this week.  May I continue to trust instead of hover and may I not need another week of lessons again for a long time!  And may I say thank you to all those parents out there who are great examples of how to trust your kids.  I am so glad you are in my life.