And so it begins...

The day I feared is here.  My baby has grown up.

Colin had the opportunity to go up to Grandma and Grandpa McLaughlin's cabin without us last weekend.  He was going to leave from our week vacation at the Ecker Lake house.  So, I had to take all that he brought for the week and pair it down into a backpack for the weekend.  I began asking him what he wanted to bring and what he wanted to leave behind.  After the basics were packed, I asked him if he wanted to bring his blanket.  He answered, "absolutely not.  Jack will be there and I will not be embarrassed by being caught with a blanket."  I uttered a little cry at that moment.

Then today we went to the zoo and it got worse.  Molly and her very best friend were giggling and screaming over the dinosaur exhibit, like only five year old girls can do.  They were looking all cute and innocent to me.  But Colin was mortified.  Can we please go home NOW!  This is horrible!  Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?  I mean really Mom!  The dinosaurs aren't even real, so what is the big deal?  And he stomped off in that moody way only a teenager can stomp.  I uttered two little cries at that moment.

All those times I wondered how long I would have.  All those moments I thought "will this be the last time he holds my hand or sits on my lap."  My days are numbered for certain now.  Every last hand in mine, every last hug, every last time he snuggles in for a story really could be the last time.  I have uttered more than two little cries over this moment.