First, is butt wiping. For almost 10 years straight, I have wiped poop from little bottoms. I don't like it, but it is my job as a Mom. So, I started getting tired of poop and bottoms about six months ago. I kind of felt like a little kid who stomps their feet and says NO, when I looked at my daughter and said no, wipe your own bottom. She cried and I relented. But, I informed her that when she turns five she needs to wipe her own bottom. Well Christmas came and she knows that her birthday is just after Christmas (six weeks, but whose counting?). She started saying, that she would be five soon and she was now a big girl. She just one day started wiping her own bottom. I didn't notice until I realized it had been awhile since I had been in the bathroom with her. I asked if she had a tummy ache, if she had been pooping. Yep, I wipe my own bottom now. Now if I could just get the dog to pick up her own poop...
Second, is strollers. When I was going to become a Mom 10 years ago, I researched strollers. I wanted a stroller that would last forever. One my little bundle of joy could comfortably ride in for several years. I obsessed, as I often do. I bought two strollers because it seemed that one stroller couldn't do the job. Then a few months into his life, I bought a cheep umbrella stroller for travel. A couple of years later I realized I needed a double stroller. Then, when I was about to have three children, I realized what I really needed was a stroller that was light weight but durable enough to last. I ended up buying five strollers in five years...so apparently one couldn't do the job! When we headed to the zoo on the MLK holiday, I didn't bring a stroller with me. For the first time in 10 years, I didn't have to push something. My kids walked the zoo on their own two feet. It was the easiest trip to the zoo I have ever had. I felt so free to just come and go. I didn't pack half the house to go because we had to carry what we brought (although we did get a locker for our coats). And we had the best time just running around, who knew? Ding Dong, the stroller is dead!
Finally, is letting go. When I became a mom, I could never imagine a day when I would want to let go. You love your kids so much. You want the best for them always. You can't stand to think about them getting hurt. How could I ever WANT to let them out into the world? But, as your kids get older they start to pull away from you. It starts around two when they want to defy your rules. But, when they go off to school, it is like you get on a roller coaster going at top speed as they pull away faster and faster from you. I loved, loved, loved the toddler years with my kids. Sure, they tested me until I wanted to pull out all my hair. But, they also loved me. They were passionate about the things that interested them. They didn't care what they wore, who they played with, how they looked, or what other people thought of them. If they wanted to stop and look at caterpillars for 20 minutes, they just did. But as they grow up, they start to hear the messages of the world. They start to form opinions based off what other people think. They become more reserved, more distracted, and more distant. They tell you that you don't know anything. I knew why it was happening the first time and it hurt badly and I longed for those days of toddlerhood. I just didn't want to go forward, I didn't want to let go. The second time, it hurt but I understood all the good that was coming with this new stage. I struggled with letting him go and keeping him with me. Now that it has begun for the third time, I find it hurting the most of all. I am saying goodbye to toddlerhood for good. But, I also find that I am so much more excited to see what is next for my littlest one. Because of that, it is easiest to let her go. I know she will be ok. I know she will thrive. I know she will come back every now and again.
Really...there are so many more. Sitting in a big chair, instead of the high chair. Drinking from a cup without a lid, using utensils, getting dressed by yourself, riding your bike, reading words, understanding the words you read...on and on. Many of these little milestones we have passed for good and many we still have to journey through.
One moment I celebrate moving forward and the next I long to go back and time just marches on...
Second, is strollers. When I was going to become a Mom 10 years ago, I researched strollers. I wanted a stroller that would last forever. One my little bundle of joy could comfortably ride in for several years. I obsessed, as I often do. I bought two strollers because it seemed that one stroller couldn't do the job. Then a few months into his life, I bought a cheep umbrella stroller for travel. A couple of years later I realized I needed a double stroller. Then, when I was about to have three children, I realized what I really needed was a stroller that was light weight but durable enough to last. I ended up buying five strollers in five years...so apparently one couldn't do the job! When we headed to the zoo on the MLK holiday, I didn't bring a stroller with me. For the first time in 10 years, I didn't have to push something. My kids walked the zoo on their own two feet. It was the easiest trip to the zoo I have ever had. I felt so free to just come and go. I didn't pack half the house to go because we had to carry what we brought (although we did get a locker for our coats). And we had the best time just running around, who knew? Ding Dong, the stroller is dead!
Finally, is letting go. When I became a mom, I could never imagine a day when I would want to let go. You love your kids so much. You want the best for them always. You can't stand to think about them getting hurt. How could I ever WANT to let them out into the world? But, as your kids get older they start to pull away from you. It starts around two when they want to defy your rules. But, when they go off to school, it is like you get on a roller coaster going at top speed as they pull away faster and faster from you. I loved, loved, loved the toddler years with my kids. Sure, they tested me until I wanted to pull out all my hair. But, they also loved me. They were passionate about the things that interested them. They didn't care what they wore, who they played with, how they looked, or what other people thought of them. If they wanted to stop and look at caterpillars for 20 minutes, they just did. But as they grow up, they start to hear the messages of the world. They start to form opinions based off what other people think. They become more reserved, more distracted, and more distant. They tell you that you don't know anything. I knew why it was happening the first time and it hurt badly and I longed for those days of toddlerhood. I just didn't want to go forward, I didn't want to let go. The second time, it hurt but I understood all the good that was coming with this new stage. I struggled with letting him go and keeping him with me. Now that it has begun for the third time, I find it hurting the most of all. I am saying goodbye to toddlerhood for good. But, I also find that I am so much more excited to see what is next for my littlest one. Because of that, it is easiest to let her go. I know she will be ok. I know she will thrive. I know she will come back every now and again.
Really...there are so many more. Sitting in a big chair, instead of the high chair. Drinking from a cup without a lid, using utensils, getting dressed by yourself, riding your bike, reading words, understanding the words you read...on and on. Many of these little milestones we have passed for good and many we still have to journey through.
One moment I celebrate moving forward and the next I long to go back and time just marches on...
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