Learning Disorders

Rachel:  Colin, we are going to talk to the doctor tomorrow to see if there might be a reason school is so difficult for you at times.

Colin:  What does that mean?

Rachel:  You may have something called dysgraphia which makes it difficult to write your thoughts onto paper.

Colin:  A learning disability?

Rachel:  yes.

Colin:  I don't want to have a learning disability.

Rachel:  Nobody wants to have a learning disability, honey.  But, if we know what is going on with you then we can make school easier.  Wouldn't you like that, even if it means you have a learning disability?

Colin:  I guess.

Colin and I had this conversation on the way home from school one day in October.  I had just attended his conferences at the middle school and had also just received a call from his counselor asking me to start sending a laptop to school with Colin to help with his work and organization.  This is not the first time I have had difficult fall conferences for Colin.  It is not the first time I have been approached about his difficulty writing.  Something snapped inside me and I knew we needed change.

I first wrote the counselor and asked her if we could have an OT assessment done on Colin to see if he had something wrong with his fine motor skills which caused him to have extremely poor penmanship. The District OT person wrote back to tell me my son was lazy.  She told me there is nothing that can be done for handwriting after the age of 7 years old.  This women gets paid with my tax dollars to tell me my son is lazy.  Mad would greatly understate my reaction to her response.

Once I calmed down, I decided to do some research on my own.  I have a friend who has a son with dyslexia and dysgraphia.  Her son sounded a lot like Colin.  I started there and decided that the symptoms of dysgraphia sounded a lot like his teachers' descriptions of Colin.  Lazy never came up in my research.

I made an appointment with the pediatrician, who happens to be a friend of mine.  I told him all the things Colin's teachers say each year at fall conferences.  I told him these things have been said since the second grade.  I told him it seems to be getting worse, not better, not matter what we try.  He said, I think you should have him tested for dysgraphia.  I almost cried right there in his office.  He did not say Colin was lazy.

It took me several weeks to figure out what testing needed to be done, where to go for this testing, who was qualified to do this testing, whether or not insurance would pay for this testing, and fill out all the forms to go along with all of this testing.  Colin had to undergo an hour of OT testing to determine he did not have anything wrong with his fine motor development.  Although his writing is poor, it is not bad enough to warrant a diagnosis of fine motor developmental delay.  He did not need any treatment.  She did recommend speech to writing testing.  Colin then underwent six hours with a neuro-psychitrist. She completed comprehensive testing to determine if there was anything going on with Colin's brain.  She confirmed his IQ is extremely high, he does not have any ADD or ADHD, but he does have dysgraphia and some executive function weaknesses (specifically in working memory and organization).

I just received the report from her yesterday which includes recommendations for modifications to make Colin successful in his learning environments at home and at school.  We will now begin the process of getting a 504 plan in place for Colin to modify his learning.  This will mean that Colin is allowed things like extra time on essay tests, a computer for use in assignments including science notebooks, an outline of notes from the teacher so he can just fill in the details, and the usage of dictation software to help him get his thoughts onto paper.  Technology usage should help him learn up to his ability, so we feel blessed to live in the digital age.

Although I am happy to learn my kid is not lazy, our work is just beginning.  I find that I am mad that my kid who struggles so much in life has just one more hurtle to overcome.  I am happy to learn that I am not crazy and my son is not lazy.  I am exhausted by the effort it can take just to help my child be his best.  I feel blessed to be home with my kids so I can spend the time that is necessary to get him the help he needs.  And I am humbled I learn how far I need to go to learn to let go of my expectations and meet my child where he is in his journey.

I don't want to have a twice-exceptional (that is what they call gifted kids who have learning disabilities) any more than Colin wants to have a learning disability, but here we are.  Onward we go...